A while back I posted an amusing collection of those wonderfully honest (but hilarious) lines little kids can deliver. Recently, I received another equally humorous compilation, which I just had to share below.  Enjoy!

Jack (aged 3) was intently watching his mother breast-feeding his new baby sister. After a while he asked: "Mom, why have you got two? Is one for hot and one for cold milk?"

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Melanie (aged 5) asked her Granny how old she was. Granny replied she was so old she didn't remember any more. To which Melanie said, 'If you don't remember you must look in the back of your panties. Mine say five to six.'
(Priceless. Fortunately manufacturers kindly stop counting for me past 12 years.)

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Steven (aged 3) hugged and kissed his mother good night. "I love you so much," said Steven as he cuddled into bed, "That when you die I'm going to bury you outside my bedroom window."
(And you wonder where Steven King gets his inspiration?)

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Brittany (aged 4) had an ear ache and wanted a pain killer. She tried in vain to take the lid off the bottle. Seeing her frustration, her mother explained it was a child-proof cap and she'd have to open it for her. Eyes wide with wonder, the little girl asked: "How does it know it's me?"

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Susan (aged 4) was drinking juice when she got the hiccups. "Please don't give me this juice again," she said."It makes my teeth cough."

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DJ (aged 4) stepped onto the bathroom scale and asked: 'How much do I cost?'

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Clinton (aged 5) was in his bedroom looking worried. When his mother asked what was troubling him, he replied, "I don't know what'll happen with this bed when I get married. How will my wife fit in it?"
(My boy ... that's the least of your troubles!)

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Marc (aged 4) was engrossed in a young couple that were hugging and kissing in a restaurant. Without taking his eyes off them, he asked his dad: "Why is he whispering in her mouth?"

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Tammy (aged 4) was with her mother when they met an elderly, rather wrinkled woman her Mom knew. Tammy looked hard at her for a while and then asked, "Why doesn't your skin fit your face?"

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James (aged 4) was listening to a Bible story. His dad read: "The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city but his wife looked back and was turned to salt." Concerned, James asked: "What happened to the flea?"

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And the sermon I think this Mom will never forget:

"Dear Lord," began the minister, arms extended toward heaven and a rapturous look on his upturned face. "Without you, we are but dust..." He would have continued but at that moment my very obedient daughter who was listening, leaned over to me and asked quite audibly in her shrill little four-year-old girl voice, "Mom, what is butt dust?"

Aah, from the mouths of babes.

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