Swear Words From Children Can be Alarming but There is Hope

Parents want their children to build a good vocabulary. Words are essential for success in school. Bad words, on the other hand, can cause concern and problems at school.

For children to swear in elementary school is not unusual. It may well be so common that the child who doesn’t use an occasional “bad word” is in the minority. Humans have the unique gift of complex language. Children are encouraged to talk almost from their first day, and children soon learn that words gain positive attention. Later they learn that words are useful in passing information on and understanding the world around them.

Language is Complex but Children Don’t Care

Children neither know nor care that the acquisition of language is complex. They learn to repeat and they learn eventually to attach meaning to sounds and words. They do not analyze words for meaning so much as they simply observe how certain words cause others to react. Speech is refined as the brain matures and more words and meanings are learned with the maturing brain.

Kids develop some sense of pride in the acquisition of language as parents show them off. The young learners provide hours of entertainment with mispronunciations and malapropisms. Once speech is well-developed children rapidly add words and attach meaning and the vocabulary swells. This is especially true when parents encourage vocabulary development by reading to children and talking to them about interesting things.

Why Do Children Use Bad Words

The operative word is “use”. Preschoolers and even most early elementary school children don’t “use” bad words – they say them. Curse words are conveniently short and easy to pronounce. They are excellent choices for children to include in their growing vocabulary. A word may well be classified as bad, but children often have no clue about definitions. They hear it and repeat it.

It’s usually a very innocent event that requires nothing more than calm parental intervention to explain that the word is not a good word to say. This can open up a great chance for parents to begin to explain the concept of proper language, which should not be limited to swear words. Parents should also explain how words can hurt and that common words from television like “stupid” are bad words when applied to people.

There is the unfortunate fact that many parents do not hesitate to swear in the presence of their children. This is pretty much giving children permission to swear – especially if no corrective measures are taken. Even worse, children who grow up in a home where swear words are common also are exposed to the emotional underpinnings of the words and learn to truly use the words as opposed to simply repeating the words. If corrective measures include a “Do as I say, not as I do message,” the child will likely continue to swear, just not around parents.

What Parents Should Do About Children’s Bad Words

The obvious first step toward a clean vocabulary in children is for parents to have one. If that is not a problem parents or anyone else in the family – watch out for grandpa – then remember that the resources for children to learn four-letter words are plentiful in the media, school, and simple socializing. Parents need to monitor these sources carefully, and explain questionable language when watching a movie or TV. Parents are often much more uncomfortable with this than are children.

When toddlers repeat bad words the best response may be to ignore it. The word may not be repeated if it doesn’t achieve some result and is not understood. As children grow older and say things that clearly are intended to express dismay or anger, then a serious conversation is required. Children simply don’t understand the import and meaning of the words, and they need a reason to not use them.

Punishment still doesn’t work well, as it may only serve to make a child more careful with whom he shares his scatological vocabulary. A good indicator that parents are having success in discouraging bad words is that children will react when they hear a banned word in the presence of parents and comment. They may turn to mom and whisper “He just said a bad word,” or tell grandpa “You shouldn’t call the dog ‘stupid,’ Grandpa.”

Childhood Swearing Can be Serious

When children swear in elementary school regularly and with intent to express themselves, parents may want to seek counseling for the child with an expert in the area, but if parents are vigilant during the formative years the situation rarely gets to this stage.

Swearing is more or less “normal” or expected in middle school students, who tend to yield to peer pressure and what they perceive as adult behavior in various media sources. Parents are not likely to overhear teenagers, as they use better judgment than toddlers. Here again, punishment will have little effect. Typically teens will “grow up” and learn and adjust to societal norms. Like it or not, some amount of swearing is accepted by society.

The use of bad words in children is not at all unusual. Parents have the option of ignoring toddlers and monitoring their vocabulary or having a brief conversation to discourage the use of inappropriate words. Parents need to explain the power of words to children and what the family values permit. Parents who openly swear around their children are less likely to be successful at correcting the behavior.

About the author:

Harvey Craft is a retired educator and former principal, with extensive experience in teaching grades six through to twelve. He is NBPTS certified in Adolescent Science and now spends his time in educational research, consulting, and freelance writing.
Click here to contact or read more articles by Harvey Craft.

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